The Bible teaches at least five steps in God’s healing process. If you want God to bring healing to hurtful memories, from recollections of the past that cause you pain, step one is this:
Reveal your hurt.
The Bible talks about how stuffing down emotional pain and not talking about it doesn’t help. David talks about this in Psalm 39:2, “I was mute and silent; I held my peace to no avail, and my distress grew worse.” You see, when you stuff a wound down it can’t heal. When you stuff a wound down it begins to fester. Some people suffer from chronic fatigue. Sometimes this is due to all the emotional energy being spent to stuff past issues deep down within. David said in Psalm 32:3, “When I kept things to myself, I felt weak deep inside me. I moaned all day long.” (NCV) He was emotionally and physically drained as a result of stuffing things down.
When I was a youth pastor in Maryland, though the youth ministry was thriving and growing like crazy, it was all happening in a very unhealthy context. I had hidden wounds from certain people that were over me in authority. I was mistreated and had a lot of resentment towards those who mistreated me. Being young and inexperienced I didn’t know how to deal with what was going on, so I stuffed it down on the inside. Let me tell you that this is not a wise thing to do! What a toll it takes on you emotionally and then as a result, physically!
You see, different people respond to abuse in many different ways. Some people:
- Stuff it and ignore it
- Run from it. They escape the pain through alcohol, drugs, sex, etc.
- Hide it because they feel ashamed
But doing these things is like shaking a Coke bottle and if you shake it long enough it’s sure to explode. The Bible says the way to deal with it is to reveal it – to be honest about it. Honest with who you might ask?
- Be honest with yourself. This still hurts. I’m ashamed over this. I’m angry over the injustice of this. I am dealing with emotional pain because of this.
- Be honest with God. Tell Him how you feel. Vent to God. God can handle it. And He won’t be surprised because He saw when you were hurt. And He hurt with you and He grieved with you. God already knows but you won’t find any relief unless you vent to God.
- Be honest with at least one other person that you trust. There’s a principle in James 5:16 about healing being the result of confessing. This principle applies when you’ve been hurt. When you tell someone it brings healing.
I can’t tell you how helpful it was to vent to God and to someone I trusted about what was going on at that church in Maryland! I benefitted in so many ways from the advice, support, prayers and perspective of others. Revealing my hurt was the beginning of the healing process for me. Here’s the principle: There’s something healing about revealing our feeling! When you stuff it down you hurt yourself. So God says that step #1 is to reveal it.