Question #6: What am I looking for in a future spouse?
It’s really important that you have a clear mental picture of what you’re looking for, so that when a good person comes along you recognize it. Here’s what you should be looking for:
- Someone to whom you’re physically attracted – here you’re asking: Are they cute?
- Someone to whom you’re spiritually attracted – here you’re asking: Are they Christlike?
- Someone to whom you’re emotionally attracted – here you’re asking: Are they conversational? In other words: Do you find it easy to talk with them?
Now make sure your standards are neither too low or too high. Some people are in a bad relationship because their standards were too low. On the other hand, some people are single because their standards are too high (no one is good enough by their super high, unrealistic expectations). When you’re evaluating the three types of attraction, you aren’t looking for perfection, rather direction. They don’t have to have perfect character – no one does. But you need to see signs that they are headed in the right direction. So again – it’s direction you’re looking for, not perfection. If you hold anyone to a standard of perfection, no one will ever be good enough for you.