Question #3: Does the relationship produce or consume energy?
Healthy relationships are energy producing, rather than energy reducing (2:3). Let me explain…
There are certain parts of my job that when I do them, they literally give me energy. When I’m studying and putting a sermon together it pumps me up! It’s energy producing. There are other responsibilities I have that I do simply because they need to be done. They aren’t energy producing, they are energy reducing -they suck the life right out of me. When I have to work on the energy reducing responsibilities I go home and want to go straight to bed after dinner. On the days I work on the energy producing tasks I have trouble falling asleep cause I’m so excited about what I’m working on.
In the same way, the right person will give you energy. The wrong person, however, will suck the life right out of you. Look with me at the kind of relationship Solomon and the Shulamite shared. She says of Solomon in chapter 2:3 “Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my beloved among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste.” Imagine hiking through a barren desert wilderness during the hottest part of the day. Imagine you’re Bear Grylls. You’re hiking and hiking and in time you get hungry but there’s nothing to eat and the heat is almost unbearable. Hours go by and you’re getting exhausted. You’re just at the point of fainting, when all the sudden you see a fruit tree, right there in the middle of the desert! You grab the juicy piece of fruit and start eating in the shade provided by the tree. After a little food and a little rest, you’re feeling refreshed.
The Bible says that when you’re in a wrong relationship it will feel like it would if you were walking through the desert without food or shade. It will deplete your energy. You’ll be miserable. On the other hand, the Bible says when you’re in the right kind of relationship it will be as energy producing as sitting in the shade eating your favorite fruit. For those who are dating right now…which scenario do you better relate to? If the relationship is slowly but surely sucking the life out of you – you better put an end to it.
Again – Healthy relationships are energy producing, rather than energy reducing.