The first thing you can do to drastically increase the likelihood of choosing a mate wisely is this: GO SLOW.
When Kristin and I started getting serious, I bought us the book Finding the Love of Your Life by Dr. Neil Clarke Warren. One of the chapters covered the seven most prevalent causes of faulty mate selection. First on the list was “the decision to get married is made too quickly.” Nothing will help increase your chances of good selection than taking it slow. In the business world they say “the slower you hire, the less you fire.” The idea is that by taking your time, you eliminate making hiring mistakes. Fast marriage decisions, like fast hiring decisions, usually turn out to be wrong decisions.
In the Bible, a young woman named Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz. She was eager to marry, but she waited patiently. She went slow. She didn’t rush things and in the end, she got her Boaz. Ladies – by following her example and taking it slow, you can find your BOAZ instead of one of his distant relatives: BROKE-AZ, PO-AZ, LYING-AZ, CHEATING-AZ, DUMB-AZ, DRUNK-AZ, CHEAP-AZ, LOCKEDUP-AZ, GOODFORNOTHING-AZ, LAZY-AZ or his third cousin BEATINYO-AZ. Wait on your Boaz and make sure he respects YOAZ.
Ok. On a serious note. Colossians 3:12 says “…as God’s chosen people…clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Being in love is an exciting time and the temptation to rush into things is going to be there, so you have to be intentional about being patient and resisting the urge to rush into something.
Now just as bad as rushing into things is being engaged for 7 years! You don’t want to rush and you don’t want to drag things out indefinitely! Experts advise “The prospect of marriage must be looked at from many angles, analyzed in good times and bad. When people take 2-3 years to consider the quality of their partnership, they have a significantly better likelihood of making a wise and accurate choice.”
If you want to make a wise choice for a marriage partner, God says take it slow!