NewDayvotional

From the pastor for the people

Church Discipline

By

What happens when a “sheep” (a believer) in our “flock” (our church) finds himself or herself ensnared by sin, whether unintentionally or through willful disobedience? It’s going to happen from time to time for as 1 Timothy 4:1-2 says, “…in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits…” And the question begs: What do we do when it happens? Well, the Bible is very clear that when this happens it is the duty of every believer within the sinning person’s sphere of influence to use their influence to try and steer their friend to repentance. This happens through something we call “church discipline.” This is simply the name given to a process (aimed at repentance and restoration) that Jesus lays out for us in Matthew 18:15-17. In these verses, Jesus explains to us how to respond when a fellow believer finds himself in a state of unrepentant sin. I’m going to outline this process in just a minute but before getting into the process of church discipline, let’s first look into the precedent and purpose of church discipline.

I. THE PRECEDENT OF CHURCH DISCIPLINE

We read in 1 Corinthians 5:1-12, “It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that does not occur even among pagans: A man has his father’s wife. And you are proud! Shouldn’t you rather have been filled with grief and have put out of your fellowship the man who did this? Even though I am not physically present, I am with you in spirit. And I have already passed judgment on the one who did this, just as if I were present. When you are assembled in the name of our Lord Jesus and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present, hand this man over to Satan, so that the sinful nature may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord. Your boasting is not good. Don’t you know that a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough?…I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat. What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked man from among you.”

When we encounter open, outright, blatant, unrepentant sin, it becomes necessary to remove the unrepentant sinner from our fellowship. Believers who remain true to the faith are to pass the following “judgment” (yes, it’s ok for believers to judge other believers – see vv.3,12) on the unrepentant sinner:

  1. They are to excommunicate him from the church (v.2, “…put out of your fellowship the man who did this…”)
  2. They are to shun him (v.11, “…you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.”).

This judgment is to stand until repentance takes place. Upon repentance, the individual is to be welcomed back into the church and to regular Christian fellowship. This may at first appear to be harsh, but it’s actually an act of love (as you’ll discover as you keep reading).

Now that we’ve looked at the precedent of church discipline, let’s move on to…

II. THE PURPOSE OF CHURCH DISCIPLINE

Why must we take such extreme measures when someone who claims to be a believer is living in unrepentant sin? The apostle Paul gives us the answer in 1 Corinthians 5:5-6 where he explains that we take such extreme measures “…so that the sinful nature may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord.” Paul couldn’t be more clear – the excommunication and shunning are intended to bring about repentance that leads to salvation. When someone claims to be a believer yet lives in unrepentant sin, they show themselves not to be true believers and show themselves to be in need of repentance that leads to salvation.

So as I mentioned earlier, excommunication and shunning are actually acts of love. When someone through willful disobedience walks away from God and loses their salvation (or proves by their actions that they were never actually saved in the first place), the most loving thing the community of believers can do is take action that encourages repentance that leads to salvation.

So we see that church discipline is always an act of love in that it’s done in the hope of restoring a straying brother/sister and never out of anger or revenge.

Ok, now that we’ve looked at the precedent and purpose of church discipline, let’s now look at…

III. THE PROCESS OF CHURCH DISCIPLINE 

Through a series of grace-filled, compassionate confrontations, we are to make every effort to rescue the straying brother/sister from their self-deception and the snare of the devil. And in Matthew 18:15-17 Jesus tells us what each step of these grace-filled, compassionate confrontations ought to look like. If at any step along the way, the sinning individual repents, he/she is to be welcomed back into the community of faith.

Step One. The process of church discipline begins one on one. Jesus said in Matthew 18:15, “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.” Each person within the sinning party’s sphere of influence ought to reach out to them, encouraging them towards repentance.

Step Two. If the sinning brother refuses to listen to the one who has rebuked him privately, the next step is to take one or two more believers along to confront him again. Jesus said in Matthew 18:16, “But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'” Sometimes the sinning person might feel you’re just picking on them or that it’s not that they’re wrong, it’s just that you don’t like them and are giving them a hard time. That’s when it’s helpful to bring others along to share the same thing you shared (i.e. that what they are doing is sinful, and that repentance is the appropriate road to travel down). Ideally, their added rebuke will be sufficient to bring about a change of heart in the offending brother that the initial rebuke did not accomplish. If this change of heart does occur, that brother is forgiven and restored to fellowship with the community of faith and then the restoration process begins (if applicable).

Step Three. But if the sinning party refuses to listen even to the confrontation of the two or three witnesses, those witnesses are to then share the news of what’s going on with the leadership of the church. Jesus said in Matthew 18:17a, “If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church…” The leadership of the church (i.e. the pastoral staff) can then communicate this news in an appropriate way to those in this person’s sphere of influence. The point of sharing this news with others is not to get other church attendees to “shun” the sinning individual, rather precisely the opposite. They are told so that they too can now reach out in love to the sinning individual, trying to steer him/her towards repentance.

Step Four. The final step in the process of church discipline is banishment from the community of faith. Jesus said in Matthew 18:17b, “…and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector.” Pastor, theologian and Bible commentator John MacArthur writes:

“The term “Gentile” was primarily used of non-Jews who held to their traditional paganism and had no part in the covenant, worship, or social life of the Jews. On the other hand, a “tax-collector” was an outcast from the Jews by choice, having become a traitor to his own people. Jesus’ use of these terms doesn’t mean that the church is to treat these people badly. It simply means that when a professing believer refuses to repent, the church is to treat him as if he were outside of the fellowship. They are not to let him associate and participate in the blessings and benefits of the Christian assembly.” 

That ostracism is what Jesus was getting at here can be clearly seen from the example previously mentioned from 1 Corinthians 5:1-13. When the man who was sleeping with his step-mother refused to repent of his sin, he was thrown out of the community of faith until he repented. Other believers were not even allowed to share a meal with him (1 Corinthians 5:11) – although I’m guessing that if the sinning individual ever wanted to go out for a meal to discuss his repentance, I’m certain that sharing a meal in those circumstances would be permitted. But the point is this: The one who is sinful yet unrepentant is to be totally excommunicated from the fellowship of the community of faith. When the people in the sinning individual’s sphere of influence have done everything within their power to turn the person to repentance, but they refuse, there is nothing left to be done except to leave that person to their sin and shame.

Maybe you’re wondering “Mike, why is this such a big deal?” Good question! That leads me nicely to my last point, which deals with…

IV. THE PRIORITY OF CHURCH DISCIPLINE

Why must we prioritize dealing with sin vs sweeping it under the rug? Two reasons:

  1. Not confronting unrepentant sinful behavior is disobedience to the command of Christ (Matthew 18:15-20) and will ensure God’s displeasure (Revelation 2:20).
  2. Not confronting unrepentant sinful behavior is devastating to the spiritual health of the local church. Scripture is clear…sin is like leaven and left alone its evil effects will eventually permeate and negatively affect the whole church (1 Corinthians 5:6).

CONCLUSION

So there you have it:

  1. The precedent of church discipline
  2. The purpose of church discipline
  3. The process of church discipline
  4. The priority of church discipline

I close with this…

Engaging in the process of church discipline is never fun and is usually very uncomfortable. But that can’t become an excuse for us to turn a blind eye to sin. If we ignore Christ’s process for dealing with sin (shared above) then we become just as guilty of sin as the person who needs our loving rebuke. So if you find yourself in a situation where you need to lovingly confront someone who is living in unrepentant sin – go ahead and say a prayer, muster your courage and give them a call to set up a meeting. As Paul wrote in Galatians 6:1, “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should [try your best to] restore him gently…” 

Four Things You Can Do To Increase the Likelihood of Choosing a Mate Wisely, Part 4

By

The first thing you can do to drastically increase the likelihood of choosing a mate wisely is this: PRACTICE THE LAW OF THREE. 

When hiring an employee, business owner Brian Tracy requires that each candidate pass three tests before being hired. He has three interviews with each taking place at a different location and different environment. Each interview is a test for the potential hire. If the candidate passes all three tests, they get the green light to be hired. By practicing this law of three, Tracy weeds out a lot of candidates that would be a poor fit for his company. If you’re dating, you need to practice the the law of three. Here’s three tests you can apply to weed out bad candidates:

Test #1 is this: Do friends and family approve? Proverbs 27:6 says “Wounds from a friend can be trusted…” That is, you might not like the advice a friend gives (it might hurt a little) but because they are your friend and love you and know you well – what they tell you can be trusted. You might say to a close friend or family member “What do you honestly think?” and they might say “Two thumbs down.” That might hurt a bit to hear, but you can usually trust (under normal circumstances) the input of family and friends. The Bible says to trust them. On the day I decided that I wanted to marry Kristin, the first thing I did was call my dad and ask him “What do you think?” He gave me two thumbs up! The second thing I did was call my mom to ask her “What do you think?” She also gave me two thumbs up! I also brought her home to meet Jon and Andrew, my two closest friends. The four of us went out to dinner together and my friends got to meet her. I got a thumbs up from them too. Now listen…If you don’t want to ask your parents or friends what they think of this person you’re getting serious with, what does that say about the relationship? Let me tell you what it says! It says that you know intuitively this person is no good for you, and you’re not asking others what they think because you already know what they think. If they don’t pass the friend and family test, dump them as quickly as possible!

Test #2 is this: Do we have compatible interests, goals and values? In 1 Corinthians 1:10 the apostle Paul said in reference to the unity of a church “…be perfectly united in mind and thought.” Being united in mind and thought is what keeps unity in a church and what keeps unity in a marriage. You have be united in mind and thought around your interests, your goals and your values. Let’s talk about each briefly. Common Interests: Most strong relationships include at least some common interests. If you live for the outdoors, you probably do not want to get serious with someone who hates going outside. People who have little in common will ultimately not spend a lot of time together, or if they do, they won’t be doing what they enjoy. Common Goals: Before you get serious with someone, you need to have a good idea of what direction you are going in, and you need to determine whether that person’s life is going in the same direction. If you want to be a missionary or inner-city worker living on a limited income, you must share that goal. Common Values: Search for character that shows the fruit of the Spirit – love, patience, kindness and so forth. You are initially attracted to a person’s outsides, but over time you will experience their insides. A person’s character is what you will experience long-term and be in relationship with over time. So make sure the other person shares your values too! If your common interests, goals and values don’t align, get out of that relationship before you waste even more time. Kristin and I didn’t have all the details of our future mapped out, but we both knew we wanted to be serving God in full-time ministry. We both knew we wanted a large family. And we both wanted the set up where I would work and she would stay home with the kids. You don’t need all the details of your future nailed down – you can figure the details out together along the way – but the big picture you each have in your head needs to be compatible.

Test #3 is this: Do they manage their money well? This might seem odd to you, but listen…George Gallup reports that 58% of all divorces today are due to money problems. Money problems are therefore the leading cause of divorce in America! Don’t set yourself up for trouble. 1 Timothy 6:10 says “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” Someone with an unhealthy view on money can shipwreck both their faith and their marriage! An unhealthy view on money can separate God and man, and husband and wife. So find out their views on money before getting married! I read a book by Gary Chapman called Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married and one chapter in the book is entitled “I wish I had know…that we needed a plan for handling our money.” In this chapter he gives several tips for laying a solid financial foundation. These are things you can talk about before trying the knot. He says:

  1. After marriage, it will no longer be “my money” and “your money” but “our money.” Once married his and her debts become “our debts.” His savings and her savings become “our savings.” The Bible says that in marriage the two become one (Genesis 2:24) and this includes becoming “one” financially. So before getting too serious, ask the person you’re with if they agree with this. You’ve got to investigate this stuff ahead of time. Don’t wait till you’re married to find out! It’s too late then!
  2. Agree on a percentage of income that you will give away, save and spend. These are really the only three things you can do with money (give it away, save it and spend it). Based on biblical principles, I encourage couples to live by the 10-10-80 rule. Give 10% to God, save 10%, live wisely on the remaining 80%. Give 10, save 10, use the rest wisely. Find out how the person you’re with feels about this. If tithing is important to you, don’t marry someone that cringes at the thought of giving money to God through the local church. That would be foolish. If the person you’re thinking about marrying doesn’t see the value in saving, that’s a red flag. Look into this before you get married!
  3. Decide before marriage who will keep the books. So before you get married, find out who’s better with the money and agree that they will take the lead in this part of the marriage. I’m going to add a 4th thing to consider…
  4. See how they would feel about living off one person’s income prior to having children. This will set you up for success if mom wants to stay home with the kids, once they arrive. Many people choose a lifestyle that’s dependent upon two incomes. Then they have kids and mom wants to stay home with the kids but it’s not an option (because of the lifestyle they’ve chosen). This is what Kristin and I agreed to before we got married – that we would both work, but would live off my income only. We saved her income. When kids came along and she wanted to stay home with them, this is something we were able to do.

By practicing the law of three, like Tracy, you can weed out bad options and save yourself a lot of time, money and heartache.

Giving is the Antidote to Materialism

By

In 1 Timothy the apostle Paul is addressing rich people. That’s us by the way! By world standards we are the rich being addressed in the Bible! You see, if you own a car you are among the 3% of the people in the world that do. Many of us have two or more! If you earn $37,000 a year, you are in the top 4% of wage earners alive today. If you make $45,000 a year or more, you are in the top 1% of people who are earning money today. When I was studying demographic information in preparation to start a new church, I learned that the average person in our area makes a lot more than that! So we are in the top 1% of wage earners alive today! So we are the rich people Paul is addressing. And here’s Paul’s advice in 1 Timothy 6:18 to us rich people, “Tell them [rich people] to use their money to do good. They should be rich in good works and generous to those in need, always being ready to share with others.” Having money has the potential to be a bad thing. If we have the money to buy lots of stuff, materialism can hold us firm in its grip if we’re not careful. But Paul here shares with us the antidote to materialism so that we can stay free from it’s grip. He says the antidote is to be “…generous to those in need, always being ready to share with others.” That’s how you get free and stay free from materialism. By being generous.

The laws of physics tell us the greater the mass, the greater the hold that mass exerts. This explains why the largest planets are capable of holding so many satellites and moons in orbit. Similarly, the more things we own – the greater their total mass – the more they grip us, hold us, and set us in orbit around them. Is there anything wrong with owning possessions? No! It just becomes wrong when they own you. The apostle Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 6:12, “I have the right to do anything…but not everything is beneficial. I have the right to do anything, but I will not be mastered by anything.”

We accumulate more and more because we mistakenly believe that the more we get the happier we’ll be but the truth is: The more you get the more you want. By drinking deep of material possessions you don’t quench your thirst for more, you intensify it. Solomon put it this way in Ecclesiastes 5:10 says, “Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income.” The more you get, the more you want. And it doesn’t satisfy. So why not try something new? Why not try giving?

When you give:

  1. It breaks the chains of materialism.
  2. It makes you happy. As Jesus put it in Acts 20:35, “It’s more blessed to give than to receive.”
  3. It not only breaks the chains of materialism and makes you happy, it also helps you to create financial margin. Giving money away is the number one way to create financial margin. Here’s how. Your lack of margin isn’t really a money issue. It’s a heart issue. Because your heart is materialistic, greedy and selfish – you spend and spend and spend to try and satisfy your insatiable appetite for stuff. And in doing so you use up any financial margin you had – and when this heart issue is really bad it results in negative financial margin (this is what we know as debt). It’s a heart issue, not an issue of how much money you make. Now here’s how giving money away actually helps you to create more financial margin. When you give money away it breaks the power of money in your life. That is, when you give money away God changes your heart. When you give…the grip that materialism, greed and selfishness has on you begins to loosen – a little bit at a time. And when you aren’t so materialistic you don’t spend as much on stuff you don’t need. When you aren’t greedy, you don’t have to buy every single thing you lay your eyes on. When you aren’t selfish you don’t need to consume all the money you have to indulge yourself. And in this way you create more margin by giving your money away.

So we see that giving truly is the antidote to materialism!

Materialism is Destructive

By

The nature of materialism is destructive. 1 Timothy 6:9, “Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.”

  1. Materialism destroys marriages (James 4:2). In 90% of divorce cases, arguments about money play a prominent role. James 4:2 puts it “…You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight…” When the desire for more conceives, it gives birth to conflict.
  2. Materialism destroys the parent/child relationship (Proverbs 22:6). The PBS documentary “Affluenza” said that the average American spends six hours shopping each week and only 40 minutes with their kids. The Bible says in Proverbs 22:6, “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” This takes time, which you won’t have if you’re pursuing the accumulation of more stuff.
  3. Materialism destroys happiness (Matthew 16:19). People who have accumulated lots of stuff statistically aren’t happy, rather they are anxious. The more stuff you have, the more you have to worry about. Every item I add to my possessions is one more thing to think about, talk about, clean, repair, rearrange and replace when it goes bad. John D. Rockefeller said “I have made many millions, but they have brought me no happiness.” // W.H. Vanderbilt said “The care of $200 million is enough to kill anyone. There is no pleasure in it.” // Henry Ford said “I was happier when doing a mechanic’s job.” Having lots of things doesn’t make you happy, it makes you anxious. Materialism is the mother of anxiety, not happiness. No wonder Jesus said in Matthew 16:19, “Don’t store up treasures here on earth…”
  4. Materialism destroys your relationship with God (1 Timothy 6:10). We know that sin separates us from God. Well, when you love things more than God you break the first and second commandments (to have no other god before the one true God and not to make idols in your life). // When you work so much that you don’t have a weekly Sabbath’s day’s rest, you break God’s fourth commandment (to honor the Sabbath day and keep it holy by doing no work). // Just this week I read how a 23 year old got his father drunk and then ran him over with his car to collect on insurance money. This guy’s greed caused him to break the sixth commandment (you shall not murder). // Every form of theft breaks God’s eight commandment (thou shall not steal). // And every time you desire your neighbor’s house, car or spouse you break God’s tenth commandment (thou shall not covet). I don’t know of any other single sin that simultaneously breaks so many of the 10 commandments as the sin of materialism does.