The third thing you can do to drastically increase the likelihood of choosing a mate wisely is this: CAST A WIDE NET.
In Bible times they used nets to catch fish. The wider the net, the greater the chance of catching that trophy fish! When it comes to dating, your net represents your network – and it needs to widen.
When a company is trying to find that perfect hire, here’s what they do…
- First they look right within their own company
- Second, they look within their list of personal contacts
- Third, they check with placement agencies
- Fourth, they check the employment section in the newspaper
- Fifth, they check internet sites dedicated to helping people find jobs like www.monster.com
- Sixth, they speak with the placement officer at their local community college
In other words – they cast a wide net by widening their network! This increases their chances of finding that dream employee. In the same way – you need to widen your network. Once you create your ideal mental image of your spouse (see previous post), share it with some people! Share with family, with friends, your growth group, your pastors, someone you serve with, etc. Say you get 1-2 leads from each of these sources, now you can start lining up dates! Not everyone will say yes, but some (hopefully) will!
Don’t be afraid to date around a little (just don’t be a player or a hoochie). Ecclesiastes 11:2,6 “Invest in seven ventures, yes, in eight; you do not know what disaster may come upon the land…Sow your seed in the morning, and at evening let your hands not be idle, for you do not know which will succeed, whether this or that…” Date around! You never know which investment will pay off, whether this person or that person! As you date around, your mental image of an ideal spouse gets refined and you hopefully have some fun! Don’t try and figure out if someone is good marriage material before you even know their name. Go out on some dates (preferably in groups)! And if someone asks you out – be open to casually dating anyone of good character (and don’t miss my qualifier “anyone of good character”).